11 songs B. Friday

Still Breathing

An eleven song album about survival, grief, truth, and the slow return to solid ground.

The album

I am here, I see clearly, and I am learning how to live differently.

Still Breathing follows one arc from the quiet survival learned in childhood, through the moment everything almost stopped, to the slow work of standing on solid ground again. It moves in three acts, and every song is one step in that return.

The writing stays close to what is true. It names grief, betrayal, faith, and boundaries at the level of feeling, and it ends where honesty tends to end. Not fixed, not finished, but present and learning.

Eleven songs, three acts

The journey

The sequence moves through three acts, from the wiring of early survival to the practice of staying present. Open any track to read its lyrics.

Act I

Learning to survive

The wiring, the collapse, and the first fragile proof of still being here.

Learned That Early Formation · Control, adaptation, quiet survival The early wiring. Staying quiet, carrying what was not yours, calling it love to keep the peace.

Verse 1 I learned that earlyKeep it insideDon't make it harderDon't pick a sideWatch the room shiftListen, don't speakLove meant surrenderSafety meant keeping peace
Pre-Chorus No one was comingNo one would say
Chorus I learned that earlyGet quiet, get smallCarry the weightLike it's yours after allCall it loveCall it strongI learned how to disappearAll along
Verse 2 I learned that earlyDon't ask for muchBe thankful for anythingDon't trust your gutHold what she's feelingSwallow your ownBe who they needDon't let it show
Pre-Chorus No one was comingSo I stayed
Chorus I learned that earlyGet quiet, get smallCarry the weightLike it's yours after allCall it loveCall it strongI learned how to disappearAll along
Bridge Be the good sonBe the calm oneBe the placeWhere it all can runTell the truthPay the priceLearn to hideTo keep the peace alive
Final Chorus I learned that earlyGet quiet, get smallCarry the weightLike it's yours after allCall it loveCall it strongI was learningI was learningHow to disappearAll along
Outro I learned that early
At the Edge of Quiet Collapse · Emptiness, surrender, suspended relief Everything almost stops. The noise falls away and only silence and breath remain.

Verse 1 I remember the quietWhen the noise inside finally stoppedAnd all that was leftWas breath
Verse 2 There's a kind of hurtThat hollows out the airWhere every breath feels borrowedAnd hope isn't thereAnd the mind goes searchingFor somewhere to land
Chorus At the edge of quietWhere the noise fades outAt the edge of quietWhere the dark gets loudThere's a strange reliefWhen the fight runs outAt the edge of quiet
Verse 3 I was full of questionsWith nowhere to goA heart worn thinFrom carrying it aloneAnd the night kept whisperingJust let go
Chorus At the edge of quietWhere the noise fades outAt the edge of quietWhere the dark gets loudThere's a strange reliefWhen the fight runs outAt the edge of quiet
Bridge Under the silenceUnder the weightSomething kept breathingWhen I thought I would breakI'm still breathingAnd that has to be enough
Final Chorus At the edge of quietWhere the noise fades outAt the edge of quietWhere the dark gets loudAnd the night that held meCouldn't take me down
Outro At the edge of quietAt the edge of quietI was still around
Still Here Survival · Fragile presence, quiet endurance Waking after the brink. Not with answers or strength, just the fact of still being alive.

Verse 1 Morning came without askingLight across the floorI didn't feel strongerJust not gone anymore
Chorus Still hereBreathing in the airNo answersBut I'm still here
Verse 2 Nothing felt resolvedNothing felt undoneJust a quiet knowingThat the night didn't win
Chorus Still hereBreathing in the airNo answersBut I'm still here
Stay Awake Awakening · Tension, clarity, returning energy Awareness sharpens. Choosing not to disappear, beginning to stand in the truth.

Verse 1 I feel it in my chest nowSomething coming backNot the same as beforeBut I'm not off track
Chorus Stay awakeDon't drift awayDon't go numbDon't fade to gray
Verse 2 There's a line I'm seeingWasn't clear beforeNow I can't unsee itCan't ignore
Chorus Stay awakeDon't drift awayDon't go numbDon't fade to gray

Act II

Naming what happened

Sorting truth from survival, holding what was real, and drawing the line.

What Was Real Reorientation · Disorientation, questioning, unraveling Looking back and sorting truth from survival. The story was not what it seemed.

Verse 1 I've been turning it overLooking for what stayedTrying to separateTruth from what was made
Chorus What was realWhat was mineWhat was truthWhat was disguise
Verse 2 Pieces don't fitThe way they did beforeWhat I thought was solidIsn't anymore
Chorus What was realWhat was mineWhat was truthWhat was disguise
Stayed With You Anchored Reality · Presence, love, complexity, unresolved truth A memory of something real. Being seen, showing up, and staying through the end.

Verse 1 You were one of the fewWho could hear me through the noiseI didn't have to fightTo feel knownAnd I held thatLike a quiet kind of truthSomewhere in all of thisI had a home
Chorus I stayed with youWhen the road got thinWhen the light pulled backAnd the dark came inI didn't have answersI didn't know what to doBut I stayedI stayed with you
Verse 2 We were both inside itDifferent sides of the same stormYou stood there as the fatherI learned how to endureAnd I see it nowIn ways I couldn't thenYou were fighting your own battlesWhile I was growing in them
Chorus I stayed with youWhen the road got thinWhen the choices closedAnd the end set inI didn't have answersI didn't know what to doBut I stayedI stayed with you
Bridge I was the one who said itWhat no one wants to sayThat the time was running outAnd it wouldn't turn awayYou held the weight of leavingOf all you wouldn't seeThe years ahead unfoldingWithout you there to be
Final Chorus I stayed with youWhen the breath ran slowWhen your hand in mineWas all I could holdI didn't have answersBut I was there with youI stayedI stayed with you
Outro I stayed with you
Never Okay Moral Clarity · Conviction, grounded anger, resolve A line is drawn. No more minimizing, no more absorbing. Naming it for what it was.

Verse 1 I see it clearer nowWhat I couldn't nameAll the things I carriedAll the hidden weight
Chorus That was never okayNot once, not everNo more turning awayNo more "it gets better"
Verse 2 I called it patienceI called it graceBut I was disappearingIn its place
Chorus That was never okayNot once, not everNo more turning awayNo more "it gets better"
It Won't Come Out Emotional Release · Pressure, grief, containment Years of held emotion rise, but the body resists. The pain is there, the release is not.

Verse 1 It's sitting underneathI can feel it therePressing at the surfaceBut it won't break air
Chorus It won't come outI don't know howIt's right thereBut it won't come out
Verse 2 I know it's waitingI know it's realBut I can't reach itI can't feel

Act III

Finding solid ground

Standing again, reopening to love, and learning to stay and be seen.

Finding Solid Ground Rebuilding · Stability, cautious strength, grounding Learning to stand again. Not perfectly, but with something real underfoot.

Verse 1 I'm not where I wasNot where I'll beBut there's something holdingUnderneath me
Chorus I'm finding solid groundStep by stepNot falling downNot there yet
I Want To Love Reopening · Longing, vulnerability, hope A quiet, honest wish to love and be loved. Not from survival, but from something real.

Verse 1 I want to loveBut I don't know howTo let it inOr let it out
Chorus I want to loveWithout disappearingI want to stayAnd still be here
Learning You Relational Practice · Vulnerability, effort, closeness, uncertainty Two people learning to stay, speak, hear, and hold. Love becoming something lived.

Verse 1 I'm learning how to say itWithout pulling it backLet the truth stay in the roomNot hide in the cracks
Chorus I'm learning youWhile you're learning meHow to stay when it's hardHow to let things be seen
Bridge Come closeNot to solve itJust to stayLearning howTo breathe in the same place
Outro We're still hereStill learning

Out now

Listen to Still Breathing

The full eleven song album is available to stream now. Play it start to finish, or open any track above to read along.

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